Hari pertama - Tahun 2

     Entah kenapa, rasa nak melangkah ke kelas tu berat sekali. Hati berat. Semua berat. Badan pun berat. >.< Tak tau la apa yang sebenarnya yang saya nak. Takut menyesal pun ada. Takut tak dapat catch up pun ada. Takut tak mampu beri komitmen sepenuhnya. Segala-galanya membuat hati ini bercelaru.

*Hanya ingin besendirian menenangkan diri di HBP hill*

-Hikari of Life-

Resah

Kadang-kala,

Hatiku dilanda resah,

Saat memikirkan dirimu di sana.
Dan,

Apakah dirimu

Turut merasa seperti apa yang ku rasa?

Di saat,

Aku coba berubah

Engkau pun berubah

Kekadang,

Aku merasa engkau

Makin menjauh,

Sepertinya engkau

Mencoba untuk menyingkirkan aku,

Sejauh yang mungkin

Dari hidupmu.

Saban hari,

Hatiku kian resah,

Kegusaran,

Mulai menghadirkan diri.

Sering memikir,

Apakah diriku

Layak untuk dirimu,

Setelah terjadinya semua ini.

Aku kian resah,
Persoalan
Kerap bermain di hati kecil ini,

Apakah hubungan ini,

Akan berkekalan?

Atau,

Punya penghujungnya?

Keresahan,

Mulai melanda,

Ku saat ini,

Memikirkan segalanya,

Tindak-tandukmu,

Tutur katamu,

Layanan dirimu,

Membuatku,

Makin meragui dirimu,

Sepertinya engkau,

Hilang kepercayaan atas diriku.

Apakah  engkau,

Akan memberi aku,

Peluang itu,

Untuk

Menjalani hari-hari seperti dahulu?

Sayang,

Izinkan aku bertanya,

Dan,

Izinkanlah untukku memohon,

Sebuah jawapan yang jujur,

Dari dirimu,

Apakah engkau

Akan genggam erat

Jari-jemariku,

Untuk mengharungi semua ini,

sekali lagi

bersamaku?

Should I Proceed?

How silly am I?

Always questioning the same thing.

Others felt bored.

But,

I still looking for the truth,

The answer of the truth.

I questioned,

Why?

Why do we often,

Suspicious of each other?

And often,

Against each other?

And,

Why don't us?

Trust each other?

Instill trustworthy in ourselves?

To shorten the gaps between us?

Dear,

I just wanna ask you,

Are you?

Loved me

Whole-hearted?

Whole-souled?

Will you,

Accompany me,

Through the rest of my life?

Encounter our life,

Till the end of the world?

Dear,

Will you answer me?

If you do,

And,

I do.

God,

Should I proceed?

With our relationship?

- LOVE is HURT and HURT is LOVE -

Today learning outcomes:
1. Love is hurt.
2. Hurt is love.
3. Love is not always beautiful as our wish.

Sometimes, we need to sacrifice ourselves. Try to tolerate with each other. Sometimes, it was working out. Solved the problems. But, sometimes it just a curse. Made things became even more worse. Yeah. sometimes I can't just get enough. I can't stand with it. But, I tried to calm myself. I want to cry, but the tears so stubborn. Don't want to drop even 1. Guest what? I really had the thought to hurt myself with a penknife. Luckily, I still remember what I've promised to my friend - Ida. I do miss her badly. I miss my other friends too. I wonder, if they had the same feeling with me? Sometimes, I felt being fooled by you. It was a betrayal! Unfaithful! How silly I am, just pretend there was nothing. Pretending it's not a big matter to me. Pretending I don't care about it. Yeah! Who cares? Nobody cares about me. It just between ME - Myself. It's not about you. It's all about me! I just wanna be yours. Is it hard to u? If u felt that I am suffocating, just leave me. Leave me alone and go with another one! I don't want to be hurt like this. Can't telling the truth urh? Or u want to play other's feeling? If the truth is, u had no feeling on me anymore. For sure, I will try to accept it even it hard for me. I am willing to rather than u stabbed me in the back. I don't want to fill my heart with hatred. I appeal to you, can u?

Should I apply for IPG again?

I got to know about the application yesterday... Someone posted it in the Facebook... I have think about it and I wonder that should I apply again for IPG? Last time I got apply too... But, I failed... Yeah... Maybe i have choose the wrong course as my friends said... My dad seemed really put a hope on it... He ask me to apply again... Yeah, he said again who know this time I may success? Maybe I will be the next super teacher? Hahaha... I never think about it before... I want to be a brain specialist,dad... Ya, I can do it if I struggle more in my study... But, again... You have your opinion again and asking me why do I choose to be a brain specialist... Why not I choose another better choice such as optical specialist or pharmacist... Dad, I will think about it later... I'm in dilemma...

To others that might have any interest in teaching profession ( only for Pelajar Lepasan SPM 2010 and 2009 )... You may click to follow the link... Remember! Due date is 21st of March, 2011... So, make sure you buy the pin number at BSN before 21st March... This is our chance... Who know, you might be the next super teacher? Just try to apply if you have interest in this profession...

Permohanan DalamTalian Kursus Perguruan Lepasan SPM:

http://apps.moe.gov.my/kplspm/kplspm2011/mohon/kplspm_2011/login.cfm