Christmas at campus

Let's talk about my christmas eve celebration at my campus.. In the evening something about 7:30pm.. Our committee were gathered at Seri Merinding(school canteen), bcoz after that we will go to church to attend christmas eve worship service.. Wow.. Its so fun when there are a lot of people joined us.. The church were crowded with people till some of us need to sit outside the church.. Praise God coz so many people were willing to come that nite.. 

After the service we have a crazy party in my room.. My junior had 2 bottles of sparkling for our christmas celebration.. Its so funny when my roomate just like got drunk after drank the sparkling.. I don' knowt why she was like that as the sparkling was alcohol absent drinks.. Her face turned to reddish..Just like a drunker got drunk by alcohol..

On our christmas day, we also attent our christmas worship service.. and we got some small present from the church.. Do you know what the present is?? Unexpected presents!! Chocolate and a small wine cup.. It is so cute and functionable as my roomate said they gonna have a crazy party again tonite.. No matter how, actually i have a great and enjoyable christmas for 2011!!! 

Merry Christmas and Happy 2012 guys!!!

P/S: Remember!!! Christmas is not about santa clause. Its about Jesus Christ our Emmanuel..

Waiting...

7 days to go~~~ Everything will be answer! How would it be? So nervous... I bet every students now not in study mood... Hahaha... [ Waiting Mode = On ]

Hospital a.k.a Buang Tabiat

Buang tabiat! P hospital o.O

Buang tabiat la pula saya hari ni.. Tetiba lagi tuh g hospital.. Then saya gtau adik saya.. Wah, punya kecoh org di rumah bila dapat tau yg saya g hospital.. Terus kol nie tnya tu tnya nie.. Hahaha.. Lucu la.. Saya da dewasa la mami.. ^^ Pandai da jaga diri.. Love mami n dadi~ :*

New Life

A new semester a new life~

So, I wanna start a new life for my new sem. Urh.. Hopefully i can pass my PSPM 1. Everybody now is talking about the result of PSPM. According to the rumors that we heard, there were 100++ students will be kicked out and 500++ from BP, 200++ from CP and BC will be kicked to PDT course. Did I one of them? I hope I'm not in the list. Amen.

Camne nak make up blog?!!

Who got idea? Help me, please...
Really need it... My blog is too bored n out of date...
I don't what should I do to make it more cheerful...

Resah

Kadang-kala,

Hatiku dilanda resah,

Saat memikirkan dirimu di sana.
Dan,

Apakah dirimu

Turut merasa seperti apa yang ku rasa?

Di saat,

Aku coba berubah

Engkau pun berubah

Kekadang,

Aku merasa engkau

Makin menjauh,

Sepertinya engkau

Mencoba untuk menyingkirkan aku,

Sejauh yang mungkin

Dari hidupmu.

Saban hari,

Hatiku kian resah,

Kegusaran,

Mulai menghadirkan diri.

Sering memikir,

Apakah diriku

Layak untuk dirimu,

Setelah terjadinya semua ini.

Aku kian resah,
Persoalan
Kerap bermain di hati kecil ini,

Apakah hubungan ini,

Akan berkekalan?

Atau,

Punya penghujungnya?

Keresahan,

Mulai melanda,

Ku saat ini,

Memikirkan segalanya,

Tindak-tandukmu,

Tutur katamu,

Layanan dirimu,

Membuatku,

Makin meragui dirimu,

Sepertinya engkau,

Hilang kepercayaan atas diriku.

Apakah  engkau,

Akan memberi aku,

Peluang itu,

Untuk

Menjalani hari-hari seperti dahulu?

Sayang,

Izinkan aku bertanya,

Dan,

Izinkanlah untukku memohon,

Sebuah jawapan yang jujur,

Dari dirimu,

Apakah engkau

Akan genggam erat

Jari-jemariku,

Untuk mengharungi semua ini,

sekali lagi

bersamaku?

Wujudkah cinta sejati di zaman moden ini?

"Aku akan di sisimu buat selama-lamanya." Ayat ni dah terang-terang bohong. Masih juga percaya. Nape ye? Saya tak faham. Saya tak mau percaya dengan ayat tu. Kita ni manusia, xdapat nak hidup selama-lamanya. Jadi, napa la boleh lafazkan " I love you forever!"? Lau lafazkan " Saya akan sayangi awak seumur hidupku." Yang ni, saya berani percaya. Nape masih xda yang ucap ayat tu pada saya? Dia tak pernah pun ucap gitu. Aie, nasib badan lah. Dah takdir. Ape pun, saya tetap sayang awak sampai akhir hayat saye. ^^

Sebenarnya, apakah itu cinta? Saya rasa, saya masih tak memahaminya. Cinta sejati? Lagi lah. Lagi tak paham. Ada sape-sape yang boleh explainkan tak? Cinta = Manis + Perit.

Kadang-kadang cinta berakhir dengan tragedis. Ada pula dengan 'happy ending'. Hubungan tergantung pun ada juga. Dalam dunia percintaan, serba-serbi ada. Ibarat Astro 'Macam-macam ada'. Sampaikan ada yang 'Lupakan yang lain' macam Daia. Semua insan di dunia ini mengalami, mengharungi dan menyelami dunia cinta ini. Tapi, kisah berbeza, pengalaman berbeza, prosedur berbeza, proses berbeza, malah pengakhiran nya pun berbeza. Ada yang dikhianati, ada yang dicemari, ada juga yang dibunuh. Pada pendapat saya, secara individunya, cinta tiada definisi nya. Setiap individu mempunyai pendapat yang berbeza mengenai cinta. Dan harus anda ingat! Anda adalah definisinya. Hanya anda tahu apakah itu cinta. Apatah lagi cinta sejati, DEFINISI nya adalah sangat mendalam dan tiada sesiapa mampu memahaminya melainkan mengalaminya sendiri.

Remember! True Love is Yours!

Should I Proceed?

How silly am I?

Always questioning the same thing.

Others felt bored.

But,

I still looking for the truth,

The answer of the truth.

I questioned,

Why?

Why do we often,

Suspicious of each other?

And often,

Against each other?

And,

Why don't us?

Trust each other?

Instill trustworthy in ourselves?

To shorten the gaps between us?

Dear,

I just wanna ask you,

Are you?

Loved me

Whole-hearted?

Whole-souled?

Will you,

Accompany me,

Through the rest of my life?

Encounter our life,

Till the end of the world?

Dear,

Will you answer me?

If you do,

And,

I do.

God,

Should I proceed?

With our relationship?

- LOVE is HURT and HURT is LOVE -

Today learning outcomes:
1. Love is hurt.
2. Hurt is love.
3. Love is not always beautiful as our wish.

Sometimes, we need to sacrifice ourselves. Try to tolerate with each other. Sometimes, it was working out. Solved the problems. But, sometimes it just a curse. Made things became even more worse. Yeah. sometimes I can't just get enough. I can't stand with it. But, I tried to calm myself. I want to cry, but the tears so stubborn. Don't want to drop even 1. Guest what? I really had the thought to hurt myself with a penknife. Luckily, I still remember what I've promised to my friend - Ida. I do miss her badly. I miss my other friends too. I wonder, if they had the same feeling with me? Sometimes, I felt being fooled by you. It was a betrayal! Unfaithful! How silly I am, just pretend there was nothing. Pretending it's not a big matter to me. Pretending I don't care about it. Yeah! Who cares? Nobody cares about me. It just between ME - Myself. It's not about you. It's all about me! I just wanna be yours. Is it hard to u? If u felt that I am suffocating, just leave me. Leave me alone and go with another one! I don't want to be hurt like this. Can't telling the truth urh? Or u want to play other's feeling? If the truth is, u had no feeling on me anymore. For sure, I will try to accept it even it hard for me. I am willing to rather than u stabbed me in the back. I don't want to fill my heart with hatred. I appeal to you, can u?

Inilah Saya - Ngegeh Gurl

Ada blog kedak xda blog. Xda blog ngegeh maok ada blog... Apa kah? Just mok tauk jak bha apa ya blogging... Dah ada blog, p jarang online.. Susah juak... Mok blogging k henpon.. Henpon x cukup canggih... Pa kan... Kehidupan mmg kedak ya... Mmg saling bercanggah... Pey... Pa boley buat... Nang dh kedak ya lumrah hidup... Bosan... Bosan... Bosan... Mula menyelubungi diri... Hmm..
Ka tinduk...

Mak ku madah... Ku tidor kedak pusak.... hm....badan boleh bongkok...

Should I apply for IPG again?

I got to know about the application yesterday... Someone posted it in the Facebook... I have think about it and I wonder that should I apply again for IPG? Last time I got apply too... But, I failed... Yeah... Maybe i have choose the wrong course as my friends said... My dad seemed really put a hope on it... He ask me to apply again... Yeah, he said again who know this time I may success? Maybe I will be the next super teacher? Hahaha... I never think about it before... I want to be a brain specialist,dad... Ya, I can do it if I struggle more in my study... But, again... You have your opinion again and asking me why do I choose to be a brain specialist... Why not I choose another better choice such as optical specialist or pharmacist... Dad, I will think about it later... I'm in dilemma...

To others that might have any interest in teaching profession ( only for Pelajar Lepasan SPM 2010 and 2009 )... You may click to follow the link... Remember! Due date is 21st of March, 2011... So, make sure you buy the pin number at BSN before 21st March... This is our chance... Who know, you might be the next super teacher? Just try to apply if you have interest in this profession...

Permohanan DalamTalian Kursus Perguruan Lepasan SPM:

http://apps.moe.gov.my/kplspm/kplspm2011/mohon/kplspm_2011/login.cfm

Finally, I know your name...

Yeah... Actually, thanks to God... Because He gave me the chance to let me know your name... It was so long time... But, I don't have the strength to ask about you even just for asking your name... I scared... I really scared... I really scared that I would hurt her... Ya... I don't want my mom hurts... I always tried... But, I failed to... I wonder if I should know about your name... Again, my curiosity is there... I want to know! But, I don't know when, when should I ask... If I ask, then maybe mom will be sad again... I just curious.... The curiosity about your name... It was nothing else.... I just want to know... Just want to know your name...And, today... I got the message from my sister... She told me that she went to the cemetery with my mother to light the candle and served some food for my late grandpa at his graveyard... My mother said, the candle are lighted for three days to lighten his way... She said this is one of the tradition in our race... After that, my mother showed her our late youngest sister's graveyard... The grave is carved Shoffie ak Juki... Finally, today... I know your name... I was so thankful to HIM... For giving me the chance to know my late youngest sister's name... It was a nice name... So nice... It have been so long time ... I waited this moment... It have been 6 years since I was Primary 6 at that time... U are gone and leave us forever... But, with no fear dear... U will always in our memory... U will always in our memory, Shoffie... Even, we are never met before... I always pray for you... U are my sister too... I love you...

U will not be forgotten... You are one of the family member too... Now,you are accompanied with grandpa... He will meet you there... We will pray for both of you... Amen. 

What a Big Relief

Yesterday, I just finish Chemistry DK024 paper and followed by Math’s DM024 paper today. I’m so happy because I can answer well in my math compared to my previous paper which is Physics and Chemistry. Yeah, it’s damn. I can’t answer well in those two subjects. What a disappointed. Luckily, it was a miracle today. My math will cover a bit my pointer. The questions are quite easy for me and hopefully with no careless I can get an A for it. Just I’m a bit disappointed. If I was given 2 minutes more, for sure I can prove the equation. Yet, I had made a silly mistake. It’s seemed to be that I will lose 7 marks or maybe more. Yeah, it’s my fault too. I was venting for a moment. After that, then I realized that time will not enough if I’m not starting to answer the question now. What an inanity! I should not do that again!!!

Double Angle Formulae

Yeah, let’s us take a look at this Double Angle Formulae.

What are simple formulae! How could I forget about it! Damnly shit! How could I forget about the digit ‘2’? I simply lost my 7 marks just because of '2'? What a damn situation. if I could return to the past, I wish that I can change my answers. Yeah, if I can do so. But,it's just a dream of daydreaming. 

Surely, thx God. I'm lucky that just a trial and not an actual exam. I'm made to learn from my mistake. I'll make sure that I wouldn't forget about this silly mistake anymore. I will try my best and answer the questions carefully. My new mission in math: "Avoid Careless Mistake!". Let's us strike towards excellent!!!

Pre-final Weeks

My gosh! My concentration a bit affected by the news I heard last nite. Really, i can't fully concentrate when I sit 4 my English paper this morning. But, thx God. I have the strength to do better in my Physics paper .Even though, I know that I will fail my Physics but I satisfied because I tried to answer the entire question given. Hopefully I can pass it. Luckily, it’s just a pre-final not the actual exam. If not, I can’t imagine what will be my result. Tomorrow is Chemistry paper. I love organic chemistry so much. I put all my effort on it. The syllabus in 1st semester, I can’t master it at all except for the mole concept. I can’t understand the topic about the periodic table and reaction kinetics. It’s hard for me to understand it and cover the whole topic for the shortest moment. But, I will try on my best to understand it with the help of my roommates. Hope with this way I can understand the topic better. I hope tomorrow the funeral of my grandpa will be smoothly done. I will pray for you my dear grandpa. I’m sorry for all that I’ve done before this. I’m a bit frustrated when my dad not allows me to go home to see my grandpa for the last due to the pre-final was held in this week. I know the reason why. I know why my parents do not allow me to go home. I understand. They want me to do my best in my trial. They don’t want I got worried about the whole incident in the family. They want me to concentrate in my exam and pass with flying color and make them proud of me. I will do my best mom, dad. I hope both of you will proud of me.

I miss you dearly mom. 

I miss you too dad. 

I love both of you. 

Wait for me and welcome me home.

Countdown

Its just 35 days left... But, I'm not prepared yet... What the hell is going on?!! what should I do to recover all stuff that I'm not understand well... Especially for my physics and my chemistry... People... I'm in dilemma... really tension bout it... sure I can't survive already... If I failed, that's mean I had waste 1 year here without any excellent achievement... My musical sketch is spoilt too... Hell!!! Damn worse! Actually what's going on in my life? Got bad luck for couple of months... Dear.. Help me... God... Guide me... I'm trying my best to show my ability to achieve the star... The brightest star in the sky for my dad, my mum, my family... I want to make them proud of me... I'm gonna to struggle for the this last minute, this last chance in this last and shortest moment to grab all of this... God... Bless me and guide me in YOUR way...

1Photo Day

This photos is taken during 1Photo Day. An activity in KML during our first semester.  This is our tutorial group's photo. We are from C1T3.

C1 is for Computer and T3 is third tutorial group. Our lecture group is devide into ten tutorial groups and each group is not more than 10 person. While, my class is the most balance one. 4 girls and 4 boys. The other class are more boys compared to girls.

Another lecture group is B1 which is bio class. Almost of them are girls and the number of boys are really small.

Lemme introduce my classmates.

The guy that wear in black is Richard Sulaiman. A Dusun boy from Kota Kinabalu, Sabah. The boy who wear the striped shirt is Mohd Zulhilmi Hussin, our tutorial group leader. He is a Dusun boy and comes from Beaufort, Sabah. The another guy is Malay boy, Muhd Zamharir from Tawau, Sabah. Actually our class have another one Malay guy whose name is Mohd Naim Ramizi from Sandakan. But, he got another better offer and quit from matriculation. He decided to go for his medical assistant course in KSKB in KK. That's all about the boys in my class.

Now, I'm gonna introduce the girls from my class. As you see in this photo, there are only 3 girls. Bacause our friend, Jumriati Samuddin got something to do on the day and she was late. So,she does not in the photo. Alright, first of all I will introduce the girl that wear in red. She is Alison Jemimah Johnny. She is a Lun Bawang girl, a minority ethic of Orang Ulu from Miri, Sarawak. But, Alison too, same as Naim will go for SPA for nursing course at KSKB in Kuching. At the girl that wear in purple with pink 'tudung' is Sitti Rahmah Hamzah, a Suluk girl from Semporna Sabah. I almost forgot to introduce about Jumriati. She is a Bugis girl that come from Tawau same as Zamharir.

That's all about my class. After Alison and Naim futher their study in KSKB. Our class left 3 boys and 3 girls. The class that with the smallest number of students. I hope our friendship will last forever. Amin.

Sharifah Zarina Langit Ke 7

Dulu kau pernah berkata

Andai kata kita bercinta

Akan kau bina mahligai

Yang terapung dilangit ke tujuh

Sememangnya seakan

Khayalan belaka

Aku tak percaya

Kata-katamu hanya mimpi

Di siang hari

Kemarau panjang

Berpanas jua

Berteduh tidak

Hati kecil tak memahami

Mahligai itu ada di syurga

Terangilah mata hati

Agar dapat ku mengerti

Kataku bukan mimpi

Di siang hari

Berpanas tidak

Berteduh jua

Lagu yang membawa seribu makna kepada saya, seribu kenangan indah juga seribu kenangan pahit.